Classic Maceism

I frequently find myself unable to capture the true Mace-ness of his questions sometimes, so since one just happened, I'm writing it down.

Mace: Who was the President in 1985?
Me: Ronald Reagan.
Mace: Huh?
Me: Ronald Reagan.
Mace: Who's Ronald Reagan?
Me: Arrrggghh!

Maceism of the Day - 3/25/11

In the car (again), the boys somehow got to asking me about Grandma Beth. They asked if she was my mom (we've actually had this conversation many times, but I know it's confusing for them), and I replied no, she's my stepmom. Conversation followed thusly:

Mace: "Do I have a stepmom?"
Me: "No. If Daddy and I got divorced, and he married a different woman, that would be your stepmom."
Mace: Pause. "Oh." Pause. "So is Alex your stepdad?"
Me: Pause. Think...think....think...ummm.....
Mace: "No. He's just Grandma's friend." Pause. "When will they have kids?"
Me: "They're not going to. Auntie Auntie and I are Grandma's only kids."
Mace: Pause.
Me: Waiting....cringing...
Mace: "Do I have a stepdad?"
Me: Whew! He moved on! "No, but if Dad and I divorced, and I married a different man, he would be your stepdad."
Mace: Pause.
Me: "Would you like that? Having another dad?"
Mace: "No way!" Thinking Pause. "Unless you married James Bond. That would be pretty cool!"

Maceism of the Day - 3/7/11

Last month, in church, the kids were learning about the Plan of Salvation and the levels of Heaven (Celestial, Terrestrial and Telestial - highest to lowest (go to http://www.lds.org/ and search the site for a much better description than I can give right now)). As ususal, figured they weren't paying too much attention.

Fast forward to today in the car. MaraJade and Mace are fighting over some toy (go figure!), which Monster has possession of and is gleefully denying Mace access to. Very calmly, Mace says, "If you won't share that with me, you're going to go to the Telestial Kingdom. And then you'll be sad." Unfazed, Monster still won't give, so Mace launches into a mini-POS lesson, enlightening her on what she'd be missing out on if she makes such a poor decision.

At least someone is learning.

Maceism of the Day - 9/21/10

So the boys are cleaning their room, which - as always - consists of lots and lots of time spent poking and picking at each other, fighting over who isn't helping, etc., etc., etc. At one point, apparently Tristen wasn't helping for a moment, then went back to policing Mace, to which Mace vehemently responded, "You're a minion of Satan!"

I honestly don't know where he comes up with this stuff sometimes.

Maceism of the Day - 7/18/10

I've been working with the kids to try and encourage them to speak more kindly to one another and other people. We have a system where they earn tokens (poker chips) each time they ask nicely for something or speak kindly to someone. If they're particularly rude or mean, they lose a token. At the end of the day, each token is worth a penny. So, in theory, they could earn a couple of dollars just by being nice.

Anyway, today, Mace looks at his cup, which has about 6 pennies, and comments that he has a lot of money. I respond that he could have a lot more - implying that he needs to speak kindly more often. To which he replies (very matter-of-factly), "Well, give me more then." Oh yeah, it's definitely sinking in.

Maceism of the Day - 6/22/10

Me - yelling from the kitchen: "Are you cleaning up or playing?"

Mace: (pause) "Uhhhh...that's classified."

Maceism of the Day - 5/12/10

Upon picking him up from school:

Mace: "The sun is made of salt." (Declarative - as always)
Me: "What? Um, why?"
Mace: "The sun is made of salt! That's why I sneeze so much when I'm out in it."

Really, who could not love this boy?

Maceism of the Day - 11/30/09

So popcorn is a big thing in our family. The kids start eating it at about 6 months old (we bite off the kernel and give them the fluffy part) and everyone really loves it. We use the Stir Crazy popper with oil and lots of butter and salt. What does this have to do with anything? The other night, Mace was finishing up the popcorn bowl while watching a movie and wiping his hand along the inside of the bowl to catch the rest of the buttery, salty goodness. He then says, "Mmmm, popcorn frosting" while slowly licking each finger.

Maceism of the Day? - 11/13/09

(Not really a Maceism, per se, but kind of.) When Mace brought his school pictures home yesterday, PJ and I (after laughing for 5 minutes) noticed a strong resemblance to someone else.........Mace now says he was purposely trying to look like Lewis from Meet the Robinsons, but we think he's just making that up because he's heard us talking about it. Regardless, his picture is just priceless - we think it perfectly captures the essence of Mace.

This morning, he wanted his hair spiked up again, so I did it for him. When I walked him to his class, we were a little late, so both AM and PM classes were there, sitting relatively quietly. As soon as he came in, the room exploded in a chorus of, "Mace!" "Cool hair, Mace!" "Hi, Mace!" "Over here, Mace!" The teachers had to quiet everyone back down and restore order, with Mace acting like this was completely normal. Apparently he has quite the fan club. It was really cute.

Maceism of the Day - several

So I've got a few Maceisms to catch up on:

First, back in early July, Mace was attending Safety Town (if your kids are in N Clack. Schools, I highly recommend they go!), where they learn about Stranger Safety, Bus Safety, Poison, Guns, Police, etc. for 8 days. So, on Friday he learned about Police and 911. We picked him up and left straight away for our weekend at Kah-Nee-Ta. There, in the teepee campground, the kids would ride their bikes around the street and paths, where we could keep an eye on them.

So, Saturday morning, I'm washing the dishes outside the bathroom, right by the pay phone. Suddenly, a tribal police officer is there, checking out the phone. He asks me if I've seen any kids messing with the phone - someone has been calling 911 and hanging up all morning. I tell him I've seen a bunch of kids, but can't think of anyone around the phone ---- wait, my son has been making his rounds, picking up the phone & hanging it up, but he doesn't know how to call..............oh, crap. I tell the officer I suspect it was my kid and I'll handle it.

We catch Mace on his next circuit and ask him to show us what he's been doing. He picks up the phone, pushes 911 and hangs up. So we have our culprit. We explain to him that 911 is only for emergencies, like if there's a fire, or if you're lost, or hurt, and never just for playing. We then tell him that the police came here looking for him, because he was messing with 911. To which he calmly replies, "The police didn't come last night." Awesome. So he's been pranking their phone for the past day and a half. We thought we'd noticed an awful lot of police patrols.

Primary Maceisms:

We're so lucky that Mace's Primary teachers love and appreciate him, because he's really something. Each Sunday when we pick him up, there's a new report of something he's said or done. Recent gems: The Holy Ghost is actually the Horny Ghost, and one week they made a paper cow with little flaps that was a Holy Cow. At least we can amuse the teachers.

Maceism of the Day - 7/3/09

So we've decided it's time for Mace to stop wearing diapers at night - I know, we're lazy. Whatever. So, he's been doing awesome, but still really wants his several drinks at bedtime. We've told him he can have one and that's all. So the other night, after requesting multiple drinks and being told no, he came into the kitchen holding this drawing.

He didn't say anything, just held it in front of him and looked at us, and every time I asked, "What?", he'd just grunt and point at the picture. Of a glass of water. With an M - for Mace. Mace Wants A Drink. a la Peaceful Resistance style. Who could say no in the face of that?

...which leads us to our Maceism of the Day - 6/12/09

While the nurse explained everything they were seeing and checking for on the baby, Mace asked, "Does she have a butt crack?"

And Nurse Ann patiently said yes and showed Mace what he wanted to see.